Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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