i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
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So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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