what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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