This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize