billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I understand Curling. That high.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
