i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
