so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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