discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm getting married
To pizza
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
