I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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