dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime