Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize