She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
