i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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