No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
