Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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