You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
