I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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