i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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