Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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