I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
