I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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