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If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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