Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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