We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
