I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
