apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize