I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
