Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
