Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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