What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
