How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
