her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
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just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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