As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
