I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
