I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
last night I used snow as a chaser
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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