You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
