Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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