if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
