We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
