oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
