every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
