i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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