Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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