look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
