I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
