How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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