i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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