If that was your dad, he is hot
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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