I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My vagina just clenched in fear
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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