Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
