I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
