So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
