She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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