thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
