i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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