In the future we'll all be gay
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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