Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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